This memoir recounts Sylvia Lowik’s personal and family history, detailing her upbringing in the Netherlands and Curaçao, her educational experiences, family dynamics, and reflections on religion, as well as her brother Gerard’s life.

Family Background and Early Life

Sylvia’s parents met at a dance organised by an Air Force colonel and married quickly due to pregnancy. They initially lived in post-war Netherlands before moving to Curaçao in the Dutch Antilles for better opportunities. Life on the island began with excitement and luxury compared to their previous conditions, but eventually led to a desire to return to the Netherlands. Sylvia was 14 when the family planned the move back, having adapted to the slower island life. She maintained a diary from 1968 to 1988, chronicling her life and family experiences.

Childhood and Parental Discipline

Sylvia’s childhood was marked by strict parental discipline, including early bedtimes on weekdays and corporal punishment for misbehaviour, which contrasts with modern parenting styles. Despite the restrictions, she and her siblings found creative ways to communicate and entertain themselves, such as using a string-and-clip message system to send messages between rooms. Her parents were considered lenient in some respects, allowing late weekend bedtimes and freedom to roam. Still, they also exposed their children to risky activities, such as unsupervised fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Sylvia reflects on the differences between past and present childhood experiences and supervision.

Education

Sylvia’s early education started with a disliked preschool experience, characterised by boredom and punitive practices such as enforced naptimes. Her father intervened, allowing her to skip the remainder of preschool to read and assist her older brother with homework. Primary school in Curaçao was challenging due to language barriers and strict, sometimes harsh, male teachers who used corporal punishment. Sylvia experienced and witnessed severe disciplinary actions, leading to her temporarily leaving school with her father’s support. The final year of primary school was marked by a headmaster known for administering physical punishments, which Sylvia resisted, thanks to her father’s protection.

Secondary school years were split between Curaçao and the Netherlands. In Curaçao, Sylvia attended a convent school run by nuns, with strict dress codes and religious practices. She participated in a protest against gender-based dress restrictions, resulting in expulsion and media attention. In the Netherlands, school life was more liberal and enjoyable, with better academic support and social opportunities. Sylvia was particularly interested in mathematics and continued to read extensively, although homework was not a priority.

Family Travels and Moves

Sylvia recounts her parents’ decision to leave post-war Netherlands for Curaçao, travelling by ship with limited amenities and a lack of baby food for her youngest brother. The family experienced cultural adjustments and adventures during the voyage and their life on the island. After 12 years, they returned to the Netherlands by ship, where Sylvia suffered severe seasickness. The family arrived safely, and her mother was unexpectedly six months pregnant upon their return.

Reflections on Religion

Raised by a Marxist father and a moderate Catholic mother, Sylvia’s views on religion were shaped by both scepticism and exposure to Catholic schooling. She describes religious education as brainwashing, but remained inquisitive and critical, encouraged by her father’s honest and scientific answers. At the age of 16, she wrote a reflective piece expressing her belief in a universal, nature-based God, rejecting traditional Catholic dogma, and criticising church practices such as confession and clerical celibacy. She emphasises living by conscience and common sense rather than strict religious adherence. Sylvia chose to raise her children with philosophical rather than religious education, identifying as a Humanist with atheist tendencies .

The Life and Death of Brother Gerard

Sylvia provides a detailed account of her brother Gerard, born shortly after their parents’ shotgun wedding. He was energetic and sometimes tricky, possibly with undiagnosed ADHD, leading to challenges in childhood and strained family relations. Due to behavioural issues and social difficulties, Gerard was sent to boarding school in the Netherlands at age 10, where he experienced bullying and eventually left school. Returning to Curaçao, he integrated more effectively, joining a football club and demonstrating entrepreneurial skills during his holidays. His adult life was turbulent, marked by multiple marriages, career ups and downs, and struggles with anger and instability. Despite his charm and intelligence, his challenges led to isolation and eventual death from untreated sepsis and dehydration in the Dominican Republic at age 59. Sylvia expresses guilt and sorrow over his decline and death, emphasising his good heart and the bright moments they shared .

Education and Career Aspirations

After secondary school, Sylvia briefly attended university to study Tropical Agriculture, aiming to combat desertification, but did not succeed academically. Her father then encouraged her to pursue radiography, which marked the next phase of her education. She recalls the student visits and experiences during this period, alongside reflections from her teenage diary, which reveal early self-awareness and evolving beliefs .

This memoir richly illustrates the complexities of family life, education, cultural transitions, and personal growth across decades and continents, providing insight into Sylvia’s formative experiences and family relationships.